It is funny how things ‘work,’ eh? 

The day you are in a rush. 

You ‘putzed’ around too much. 

Slept in a little bit. 

‘HEY, GOOGLE, SNOOZE!’ 

Now you have to pick up speed. 

You dress quickly. 

You have to make up for the lost time. 

No slowing down. 

No more distractions. 

Kind of put the first thing on that looks good. 

You are not exactly excited about it, but it has to do. 

You have to keep the pace. 

You walk out the door, and the first person you see compliments you on how nice you look. 

I have a few of these. 

I am not a $200 sunglass guy. 

I would rather have four $50 pairs. 

I go through them fast. 

Forget them. 

Sit on them. 

Drop them. 

Lose them. 

Outgrow them. 

On one ride, I broke a pair. 

I needed sunglasses for that ride. 

I stopped at a gas station and bought a pair for nine dollars. 

To this day, of all the glasses I wear, they get the most compliments. 

I have this thing. 

Don’t ask. 

It is just a thing. 

I spray a little cologne before I ride. 

…Chanel, Antaeus. 

I like to smell good to anyone who may be riding behind me. 

One day, I was feeling a little lazy. 

It was upstairs, and I was downstairs. 

I sprayed from a ‘can’ in the downstairs washroom and headed out. 

The woman at the red light 500 metres from my house said she did not want the light to change. 

She liked ‘my smell’ too much. 

‘Tu sens si frais.’ 

I would say four other people commented on ‘my smell’ on that one ride. 

You know what I was wearing? 

OLD SPICE 

The body spray that costs $8.99 at the Drug Store. 

Psst, haha, it is the ‘Wolverine’ one. 

‘HEY, GOOGLE, SNOOZE!’ 

Insert perfume bottle emoji here. 

‘Wear it OUT’

Photo: Malbon Golf and Cycle